Mom was only working her modeling job now. She had quit her day job, and was at home when Tracy and I returned from school. Sometimes, on cold days, Mom would walk us to school, and then come and walk home with us. We loved it when she would do this. "Tracy would ask me questions, and I would tell her what I knew. If I didn't know then, we would ask Mom, and she would tell us both. For example: Is Santa Clause real. Mom told us that Santa resided in the hearts of everyone who believed in him. That satisfied us. Now Christmas morning all our gifts have the name of the person giving them to us. Did I tell you that we really really love our Mom?" "Yes, you did tell me that and I can see why." "When I turned sixteen I asked Mom why she was still modeling. I could see with my own eyes how beautiful and sexy she was, but I wanted to know. Mom told me that she still needed to work so we would have a home with all the good stuff that comes with it. She also said, 'She was still saving money. I notice the house seems unusually quiet. There is a pitcher of spring water chilling in the fridge. I pour the glass full for him, and return the pitcher. As I turn to head back to the bedroom, I can hear angry footsteps suddenly. Oh, no! He’s free! The glass in my hand suddenly crashes to the floor as fear grips me. I was certain I could talk to him and make sure he had sobered up before he… “Where are you, you brazen bitch! Wait ‘til I get my fucking hands on you! You are going to pay and pay and PAY FOR THIS! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” Terror hits me deep in my solar plexus. I feel like I’ve been punched. How could I have just made such a horrible error in judgment? Why did I think I could do this? He has never even cursed or lost his temper before in my presence. I never imagined he was capable of such frightening anger. At the same time I realize that he is still extremely drunk, and that because of that, there are few normal limits to his behaviour. There.
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